Brian's recovery story - in his own words

Brian* is one of our clients and you can read his full story in A Second Chance At Life. Here he shares in his own words what it is like to be consumed by alcohol and then be able to turn away.

“When I was young, I didn’t realise over the years what effect the alcohol was having on me in the later hours of the night.”

“I saw the drinking as a way to calm my mind. It was a pacifier of all the thoughts. I didn’t realise how much it was causing my depression. At the time I would have said alcohol was making me feel better.

“I used to stay back at work, when everybody went, and I'd be drinking on my own there. It became a big issue. Everyone around me could see it, my parents obviously, my boss, but no one really stopped me, not that it was their place to stop me.”

“I’d call myself a functioning alcoholic. There was the slurred speech and stumbling around, but I used to think reasonably clearly for someone who drank that much. I was on good money so cost wasn’t an issue.”

“The night I decided to try and take my life I had been drinking. I never had another drink after that night because once I decided to try and have another go I knew that if I kept drinking I would die.”

“I knew that if I didn't take the opportunity of lying on that hospital bed to give the drinking up then and there, I knew that was probably my best shot if I was going to give up drinking. That was the gateway to do it.”

“The alcohol wasn't actually that hard for me to give up. But to stay away from it forever, I needed help.

“I met with Annette for nearly three years, weekly at the start and then the spaces grew. It was helping around strategies and tools for relapse prevention. It was dealing with the stuff that was contributing to my alcohol use in the past, like how to deal with stress and anxiety.”

“There was just one time when things were going a bit pear-shaped at work about three years ago and the thought came back to me to buy some beers. I sat in the supermarket car park for about an hour ruminating over everything but I managed to tell myself to bugger off and drive home without buying a box of beers.”

“One thing I did notice when I when I stopped drinking was the clarity in my mind, you know, around 9 o'clock at night, it was like the fog had lifted.”

“I don't know where I would be without the help that I got. I do know what I gained from Annette and the tools that she's given me because I still use the tools.”

“I found a photo when I was going through all of this of me between my mother and my dad. I must have been four or something and I look at the smile that was on my face and I've kept that photo and I want to get back to that.”

 *Not his real name